A Crisis That Rebuilt Me: Lessons from My PhD Journey in Akola

When I moved to Akola to begin my PhD, I genuinely believed survival would be easy. I was wrong.

What followed became one of the most mentally demanding phases of my life. To my readers, I apologize for not updating this blog for nearly two years. That silence did not come from comfort or stability—it came from struggle. This period marked a clear crisis point in my PhD journey, both intellectually and personally.

Paradoxically, this phase also carried quite a few achievements. Before entering this transition, I had already published four research papers based on my earlier work. During this difficult period, I undertook my first major review article—a task that tested my patience and endurance far more than any experiment. That single review took nearly eleven months to complete. It moved slowly, stalled often, and forced me to read deeply, critically, and repeatedly. At the time, it felt like stagnation. In hindsight, it trained me to think like a scientist rather than merely execute experiments.

Around the same time, I received an offer for a Technical Assistant role at CSIR-IICB. It was a moment of validation—proof that my skills were visible beyond my immediate academic struggles. Yet I chose to stay with my PhD, knowing that unfinished journeys cost more than delayed comfort.

After leaving my previous role at MGM, I entered a research environment entirely new to me, centered on doubled haploid technology. I was suddenly confronted with serious gaps in my understanding of plant breeding. For nearly two years, I struggled to find clarity and confidence. I was not simply learning new techniques; I was rebuilding my scientific foundation from scratch while questioning my direction and abilities.

The confusion, slow progress, and repeated self-doubt made this phase mentally exhausting. Yet, in hindsight, this crisis became the most defining period of my PhD. It forced discipline, humility, and deep introspection.

The Bhagavad Gita captures this phase perfectly:

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन

You have the right to perform your duty, but not to the fruits of your actions.

At that time, results felt distant and invisible. All I could do was show up, learn, fail, and repeat.

The Invisible Struggle: Communication, Isolation, and Inner Noise

The transition was not only academic. The research culture was unfamiliar. Expectations were different. I struggled most with communication—not language alone, but scientific communication. Understanding what was being planned, discussed, or expected from me felt overwhelming. Conversations moved fast, decisions were made quickly, and I often found myself reconstructing meaning after the moment had passed.

That confusion slowly turned into self-doubt. I began questioning my intelligence and worth. I made mistakes—not due to lack of effort, but due to misunderstanding. Each mistake felt heavier than it should have, pushing me toward silence.

During this time, I deliberately withdrew. I spent long periods alone—reading, thinking, re-reading fundamentals, and avoiding unnecessary social noise. Some new friendships formed slowly and quietly, grounded not in convenience but in shared understanding. Isolation was not always loneliness; often, it was survival.

Lesson 1: Communication with your PhD supervisor and peers is not optional. It is essential—not just for research progress, but for mental stability.

The Physical Cost of Scientific Work

Alongside intellectual struggle came physical exhaustion. Fieldwork is unforgiving. Long hours, harsh weather, repetitive labor, and responsibility that does not pause for fatigue or emotion. Until Akola, most of my research life had been inside laboratories—controlled environments, instruments, predictable routines. Here, research demanded my body as much as my mind. 

There were days of endless work, irregular meals, limited sleep, and emotional depletion. Financial instability added another layer. The stipend system, often delayed and always limited, teaches a harsh lesson early in a scientist’s life: intellectual ambition rarely aligns with immediate financial comfort. There were months of careful calculations, postponed needs, and quiet restraint.

This, too, is part of the scientist’s story—rarely discussed, deeply felt.

The Gita reminds us:

योगस्थः कुरु कर्माणि

Remain steady in discipline, and perform your duty.

That steadiness more than talent kept me functioning.

Adaptation, Not Transformation

Despite confusion, exhaustion, financial strain, and mistakes, I survived my first year.

Not just survived. I adapted.

Slowly, breeding concepts began to make sense. Experimental logic sharpened. Long-term planning became clearer. The environment did not change—but I did.

Months later, I realized something fundamental:

I can function in extreme academic and living conditions.

I can learn unfamiliar domains.

I can endure uncertainty.

I can rebuild when confidence collapses.

I completed my experiments, collected data, processed results, and successfully cleared my probation seminar. Only then did I fully understand why people say, “Doing a PhD is not easy.”

It isn’t.

Sometimes it dismantles you before reconstructing you.

न हि कल्याणकृत् कश्चिद् दुर्गतिं तात गच्छति

One who strives sincerely is never destroyed

Redefining Success as a Scientist

Success never arrives gently. It comes through discipline, delay, sacrifice, and persistence.

It is acceptable to cry.

It is acceptable to pause.

It is acceptable to feel overwhelmed.

None of this implies weakness.

What is unacceptable is abandoning yourself.

One of the strongest lessons my PhD has taught me is this: work matters, ambition matters—but not at the cost of mental health, relationships, or self-respect. I no longer work to impress institutions or individuals. I work to satisfy curiosity and to grow—slowly, honestly, and sustainably.

I value people more deeply now. At the same time, I refuse to abandon my professional aspirations. I want both a meaningful personal life and a rigorous scientific career—and I am willing to work patiently for both.

Lesson 2: Avoid what makes you unnecessarily sad.

The paradox: Growth is painful—but quitting during pain guarantees stagnation.

This journey is shaping me—not merely as a researcher, but as a person.

And perhaps, that is the most honest outcome of a PhD.

Cow’s antibodies could be the newest weapon against COVID-19

Time for a different type of HERD IMMUNITY!🐄

Last week it was reported that a biopharmaceutical company in the US are using genetically modified cows to produce antibodies that could help us to fight COVID-19. I was intrigued when I saw the headline so had to do some more digging.

As coronavirus marches around the globe, a sleepy town on the rugged Maine coast has become an unlikely nucleus in researchers’ efforts to combat the disease, known as COVID-19. The Jackson Laboratory, a is rushing to produce stocks of a transgenic animal that scientists hope will help them to understand the virus.

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So what makes cows so special?

Cows make good antibody factories, and not just because they have more blood than smaller animals engineered to synthesize human versions of the proteins. Their blood can also contain twice as many antibodies per millilitre as human blood

Well, they actually produce a load of antibodies. Because they have more blood than humans but they can also produce twice as many per millilitre compared to humans! And they produce a wider variety of antibodies - more on that in my next few posts - so increasing the chances that one of them will work when trying to fight the coronavirus.

Ok... so cows might have more antibodies but how is that going to help us?

There is something called artificial passive immunity. This uses externally produced antibodies to fight off disease. Here the cows can produce human antibodies on mass. Those antibodies have been shown to have positive effects so far in animals that have been infected with the virus. ⚠️ PSA - this data has not yet been peer-reviewed or published yet. These antibodies are scheduled to be tested in human clinical trials 👫this summer to test their effectiveness at preventing COVID-19.

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It will be interesting to see more data and results from this company. But it sounds like another promising angle. Although so far no antibodies generated by animals have been approved to treat any disease.🦠

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Let's see what their next moo-ve is! Sorry I had to 🙈

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Stereochemistry an Introduction

Stereochemistry an Introduction

I'm made to realise that I'm not clear enough or good at something, I try to make myself clear with it. It happened , I am preparing for my exam during my preparation for Exam , The question was asked about Stereoisomer but, unfortunately, I was not very clear with the molecular reason behind it.(but, still I managed to answer the question as I know the theoretical information from my notes, but, knowing the molecular mechanism behind each concept clearly is very important, isn't it?).

But, nothing is wrong in it, I made myself clear with it now. That's good, right?

So, let me share with you some basic principle and an introduction with Streochemistry and how it affects molecular structure, Biochemistry and Metabolism so here we go

Just like with any other field of science, chemistry is not two dimensional. To get an accurate chemical analysis, the three-dimensional spatial arrangements of the atoms (and ions) in the molecules have to be considered. Amongst compounds which share the same molecular formula, there are a group of compounds with the exact same order in which the atoms are joined together yet are different. These compounds are known as stereoisomers. Despite their similarities, their arrangement of the constituent atoms in the three-dimensional space are different.

The subdiscipline of chemistry that studies this is called stereochemistry. As we progress through this blog, the differences in chemical properties of the stereoisomers will become increasingly apparent. This will have very profound impacts on the uses and applications of chemical compounds, particularly organic compounds. Amongst these are compounds of pharmaceutical importance, whose stereochemistry could determine the fate of the patients. A particular subfield that deals with this is called pharmaceutical stereochemistry, which we will get to learn more about in no time.

Let us return to general stereochemistry, given the numerous ways in which stereoisomers can be formed, there are also many ways to classify stereoisomers into different categories. Keep in mind that in a group of stereoisomers, more than one of these categories could apply. In fact, some of these classifications have overlaps, so it is best if we do not think of these classifications as mutually exclusive groups, but rather different ways to classify isomers [2].

The first type of classification is based on interconvertibility of the isomers amongst themselves: conformational and configurational isomers. Conformational stereoisomers (or conformers for short) are stereoisomers whose difference in spatial arrangement of their atoms are due to rotation about carbon-carbon (C–C) single bonds. Most conformers can easily interconvert to one another amongst themselves at room temperature. Configurational isomers, one the other hand, do not usually interconvert at room temperature since this will involve breaking and reforming of bonds [1].

A quick example would be to look at molecules (a), (b), and (c). Molecules (a) and (b) can interconvert between each other by simply rotating the carbon single bond. However, molecules (a) and (b) cannot convert to molecule (c) without breaking the carbon-substituent bonds and rearranging the substituents. Hence, molecules (a) and (b) are conformers, while molecule (c) is a configurational isomer to molecules (a) and (b).

The second type of classification is based on mirror images. If a molecule is non-superimposable on its mirror image, the molecule and its mirror image are called enantiomers. This only applies to a very specific type of molecules called chiral molecules, which neither have a plane of symmetry nor a center of symmetry. Enantiomers can interact with plane polarized light. If an enantiomer rotates plane polarized light by a specific angle in a clockwise direction, its mirror image rotates plane polarized light by that same angle in an anticlockwise direction [3].

Chiral molecules often have an asymmetric carbon atom (also known as chiral carbon) which is a carbon atom that is attached to four different types of atoms or groups of atoms. In a molecule with multiple chiral carbons, it is possible to have up to 2n stereoisomers [8]. Stereoisomers which share the same configurations on at least one (but not all) chiral carbon and are not mirror images of each other are called diastereomers. Diastereomers whose configurations on all, but one, chiral carbons are the same have a special name, epimers. Some of you may have noticed that in fact, all conformers are diastereomers, but not all diastereomers are conformers.

Amongst diastereomers that are configurational isomers, we have cis-trans isomers which are isomers of at least di-substituted compounds whose functional groups may be on the same side (cis) or the opposite sides of the carbon chain (trans). While the term is often used on molecules with one or more double bonds, cis-trans isomerism can apply to molecules with only single bonds too [6, 7]. For molecules with alkene group, an alternative convention called E-Z isomerism exists to prevent confusion in nomenclature. The details of the convention will be covered later.

Moreover, amongst conformers, there are very specific types of isomers. that are due to hindered rotation about a single bond or hindered inversion of bond angle. Those due to a hindered rotation is called atropisomers, while those due to a hindered inversion of bond angle is called akamptisomers [5]. Details of these two types of stereoisomers will be covered later.

Fun fact: the first akamptisomers were only discovered last year (2018)!